Communicating Across Cultures

I do tend to communicate differently in across diverse groups and settings.  There are variations in the circles I belong to that contribute to slightly different cultures.  For example, I maintain a more professional speech pattern, remain focused on work topics, and speak when spoken to or when it is my turn to speak.  However, when with my friends and family, I use more casual speech and venture into personal topics, I speak more quickly and with more slang, and I may even interrupt someone with a response or reaction to what they said.

The culture of my professional settings do not invite the same behavior as the culture shared within my family.  I am myself in both settings, but through a slightly different set of norms.

I have learned to be a better communicator in both settings.  One strategy I try my best to employ is to simple speak less.  I tend to be a talker and would be better off in any communication if I spoke less and listened more. 

A second strategy I try to use in all settings is to be an active listener.  I practice active listening by listening silently and then posing questions that will give me a better understanding of the speaker instead of my go-to habit of sharing my opinion, advice, or experiences.

A third strategy that might help me communicate better in professional settings may be to practice seeing topics, challenges, and possible solutions from others' perspectives.  I may find ways to participate in moving work forward by thinking outside of my own box and looking at the problem for others' positions.

Observing Communication on Screen

I searched Netflix for television series episode that would make a good study of communication both muted and with the sound on.  I settled on an episode of Scrubs, an early 2000's sitcom in which, according to the Netflix summary, young attending physicians "practice mischief and medicine while learning life lessons". 

Without the sound, it appears that the people in the series dislike each other.  They often speak to each other without making eye contact (while walking down halls, standing at a counter, or watching television).  There appears to be a lot of shouting, irritation, and frustration.  Characters wince, run their hands through their hair in apparent exasperation, and leave conversations abruptly.  In other scenes, characters sit side-by-side on a couch and appear to speak but without animation and with no eye contact. 

With the sound on, I find that I was pretty much spot-on with inferring irritation and exasperation from character's body language and facial expressions.  However, when I can hear what they are saying and understand the plot, I can know that beneath their frustration with each other they have strong relationships and care about each other deeply.  I can sense sarcasm along with a lot of their scolding, and find that the animation in their faces and body language seems to be due to the show's style and tone, and is much more comical than I expected. 

This exercise demonstrated how important both spoken and non-verbal elements are to the process of communication.  Without one or the other conclusions can be off, especially when more complex communication is occurring (such as the use of humor or sarcasm to demonstrate how annoyed someone is by someone they love and care about). 

Carolyn McKanders

This is Carolyn McKanders.  Not only does Carolyn exhibits truly inspirational communication skills, she teaches these skills to organizations and schools across the globe.  Carolyn is the Director of Organizational Culture for Thinking Collaborative.  I have participated in Carolyn's Adaptive Schools/Organizations and Cognitive Coaching trainings where I have learned an incredible amount about effective communication.  I continue to work toward implementing the skills I observed and practiced in Carolyn's trainings.

Some specific communication skills Carolyn exhibits include a calm and measured demeanor, listening skills that include body language that mirrors the speaker, and effective pausing, paraphrasing and question-posing that allows her to understand the speaker's meaning.

I do hope to become skilled at using these very same communication techniques.  I am currently mid-way through a training series with Carolyn and am registered for some practice sessions with local colleagues. 

Professional Hopes and Goals

My one hope in regards to working with children and families of diverse backgrounds is that they are able to access services without being limited by the attitudes, biases, or opinions of those they work with.  I hope to be a leader in such anti-bias work through my growing ability to provide this level of service.

One goal I have for the early childhood field is that it becomes the foundation from which children and families can grow and thrive in our communities.  An anti-bias early childhood field may provide that structure for families, be a model for other fields of service, and support a future generation where prejudice and oppression has diminished.

Thank you to my course instructor and colleagues for your thoughts and contributions this semester!  Best of luck as you continue your journey in the early childhood field!

Welcoming Families from Around the World

I have been notified that a new family has moved to the area from Nepal and their toddler and preschooler are enrolling at my child care center.  As director I will work closely with the teachers in the children's new classrooms in order to be prepared to be culturally responsive towards the family:

1.  A family culture survey is included as part of our enrollment packet.  The children's teachers and I will review the survey to learn about the families' primary language, the makeup of their household, and other initial information.

2.  We will attend a home visit welcoming the family to our community and center.  At the home visit we will discuss any concerns that the family has, learn about their family resources, and discuss the center and our policies in order to assist the family is transitioning to our setting.

3.  We will invite the family to attend an orientation appointment at the center.  On this day the parents and children are able to meet other families who are dropping children off and/or occupying the Family Resource Room.  They family will be able to observe in the classroom while their children participate in portions of the day.  The family will have the opportunity to interact with other children who attend the center.

4.  We will invite the family to contribute to our One Big Family wall by providing us with a picture (or allowing us to take their picture), lending items from home that represent their culture and traditions, or directing us to online resources that we could print off and display.

5.  The teachers and I will continue to connect with the family on a regular basis to maintain open lines of communication and continue to learn ways we might reflect their family culture in the environment at the center.

These preparations will benefit the new family and all of the families and staff at the center by encouraging open communication.  Every child will have the opportunity to feel important and to feel a sense of belonging, and these steps will help the new children see their family being welcomed and respected as important members of our setting.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I have witnessed bias and prejudice online.

I recently experienced a family member's oppressive comments on Facebook.  This family member was making comments aimed at Muslim people.

His comments were Christian-centric and quite hurtful.  They diminished equity by taking the stand that America is for English speaking Christians, and anyone else can "go back to where they came from."

As a non-Christian, I often feel the pain of comments like these, even though they are not being directed at me.  I also have Muslim friends who are extremely important to me.  The combination of feeling offended on behalf of my Muslim friends and feeling the impact of the comments myself made me quite furious.

I decided to act at the time.  I commented on the thread, "I AM A MUSLIM."  I wanted to show my family member and his friends that it is very possible that they were making comments about people they know and care about.

I don't believe the individuals making these hurtful comments have meaningful relationships with a diverse group.  In order to create an equitable environment on Facebook these individuals might need to experience different perspectives in order to understand that theirs is not the norm, the standard, the correct, or the only way see the world.

Microaggression in Social Media

I had a working lunch this week with colleagues (two early ed specialists with our local state funded preschool programs and one quality consultant with Michigan's rating system).  I picked the location- my favorite Mexican restaurant.  As we pulled into the parking lot we realized there would be no fajitas for lunch: county deputies were escorting Federal agents as they removed boxes of evidence from the restaurant.

I quickly texted my husband; he and our youngest daughter (6) are borderline obsessed with this restaurant.  The waiters have our orders memorized, and our daughter has gotten quite good at placing her order in Spanish and answering the waiters' questions with "si" and "gracias".  Once at home, I posted the bad news on Facebook.

Many friends commented and expressed their huge disappointment.  Two friends- family, actually- made sure to make some comments that were meant to be humerous, but were, in fact, examples of microagression.

Now, I would agree that this actually crosses the line from microagression to strait-up prejudice.  However, it is a good example of how someone attempts to be funny and ends up making an all-together inappropriate statement, and it makes me uncomfortable to see these kind of comments on my Facebook wall.

Keeping my eye open for microagressions helped me become more aware of the number of comments being made at all times.  I am usually quite sensitive to these types of comments, but watching for them allowed me to put myself in the shoes of members of many different groups in order to discover how it feels to be bombarded with them.  Not a pleasant energy at all.