Communicating Across Cultures

I do tend to communicate differently in across diverse groups and settings.  There are variations in the circles I belong to that contribute to slightly different cultures.  For example, I maintain a more professional speech pattern, remain focused on work topics, and speak when spoken to or when it is my turn to speak.  However, when with my friends and family, I use more casual speech and venture into personal topics, I speak more quickly and with more slang, and I may even interrupt someone with a response or reaction to what they said.

The culture of my professional settings do not invite the same behavior as the culture shared within my family.  I am myself in both settings, but through a slightly different set of norms.

I have learned to be a better communicator in both settings.  One strategy I try my best to employ is to simple speak less.  I tend to be a talker and would be better off in any communication if I spoke less and listened more. 

A second strategy I try to use in all settings is to be an active listener.  I practice active listening by listening silently and then posing questions that will give me a better understanding of the speaker instead of my go-to habit of sharing my opinion, advice, or experiences.

A third strategy that might help me communicate better in professional settings may be to practice seeing topics, challenges, and possible solutions from others' perspectives.  I may find ways to participate in moving work forward by thinking outside of my own box and looking at the problem for others' positions.

Observing Communication on Screen

I searched Netflix for television series episode that would make a good study of communication both muted and with the sound on.  I settled on an episode of Scrubs, an early 2000's sitcom in which, according to the Netflix summary, young attending physicians "practice mischief and medicine while learning life lessons". 

Without the sound, it appears that the people in the series dislike each other.  They often speak to each other without making eye contact (while walking down halls, standing at a counter, or watching television).  There appears to be a lot of shouting, irritation, and frustration.  Characters wince, run their hands through their hair in apparent exasperation, and leave conversations abruptly.  In other scenes, characters sit side-by-side on a couch and appear to speak but without animation and with no eye contact. 

With the sound on, I find that I was pretty much spot-on with inferring irritation and exasperation from character's body language and facial expressions.  However, when I can hear what they are saying and understand the plot, I can know that beneath their frustration with each other they have strong relationships and care about each other deeply.  I can sense sarcasm along with a lot of their scolding, and find that the animation in their faces and body language seems to be due to the show's style and tone, and is much more comical than I expected. 

This exercise demonstrated how important both spoken and non-verbal elements are to the process of communication.  Without one or the other conclusions can be off, especially when more complex communication is occurring (such as the use of humor or sarcasm to demonstrate how annoyed someone is by someone they love and care about). 

Carolyn McKanders

This is Carolyn McKanders.  Not only does Carolyn exhibits truly inspirational communication skills, she teaches these skills to organizations and schools across the globe.  Carolyn is the Director of Organizational Culture for Thinking Collaborative.  I have participated in Carolyn's Adaptive Schools/Organizations and Cognitive Coaching trainings where I have learned an incredible amount about effective communication.  I continue to work toward implementing the skills I observed and practiced in Carolyn's trainings.

Some specific communication skills Carolyn exhibits include a calm and measured demeanor, listening skills that include body language that mirrors the speaker, and effective pausing, paraphrasing and question-posing that allows her to understand the speaker's meaning.

I do hope to become skilled at using these very same communication techniques.  I am currently mid-way through a training series with Carolyn and am registered for some practice sessions with local colleagues.