To me, support means assistance with routine responsibilities over the long-term.
It is important to have trustworthy people to count on when I can't keep all of the balls in the air at once, a task at work that I could use help completing, for example, or the odd day when schedules conflict and I need someone to pick up my youngest from school. I have people in my life who I can count on in times like these- my mother, mother-in-law, my dad, my sister-in-law. A friend.
However, support is something a little more. It is on-going. It is the little things that help in such a way that reduces my over-all workload and makes things a little easier, and the big things that make my entire lifestyle possible. My true support comes from my husband, who is willing to set up my wifi at work, pump my gas on his lunch break, do the dishes while I do homework. He'll put in a load of laundry, take the youngest to dance if I'm out of town at a meeting, make dinner if I'm working late. I couldn't do any of these things if he wasn't here and willing to be part of the solution.
My daughters are beginning to grow into supportive family members as well. I can count on my middle daughter, age 8, to do a chore for me, and do it well. She will do the job right the first time! She "loves" cleaning the bathroom, enough said.
My oldest daughter is a very good babysitter. She is learning quickly how to be a gentle leader when we leave her in charge, and both she and her two younger sisters enjoy the time to themselves when we step out. It is a huge help to know that if we need her, she is trustworthy and willing to take over.
It would be very difficult if I had no husband to share the load with, or a husband who was not willing or able to do so. It would also be difficult if my children weren't willing to help when I ask, or if they were not trustworthy in their obligations. I would not be able to work the hours I work, attend grad school, follow my dreams into the books I write.
I have plenty of challenges, especially when it comes to being in six places at once. But- if I imagine a new specific challenge- let's say I lose my ability to drive my vehicle- I would need much more support in order to maintain. First of all, I'd need more help at work- I'd need to carpool, somehow, to meetings in other counties. I'd need other team members to step in and attend events, trainings, and site visits for me- events I typically travel to.
And I'd need my husband to drive our three kids to school everyday, and pick them up after school. I'd need to find a way for them to get to and from practices and rehearsals.
I would have to rely on my family to help me get to the stores, appointments, work, etc. If my family supports didn't exist, I would need to rely on public supports in order to stay employed and feed my family. Without family supports, a challenge such as lack of access to a vehicle would completely change my life and the opportunities I would be able to provide to my children.
Part of being successful is being self-sufficient. However, another path to success is to forgive one's self those loose ends and accept the support of loved ones. It is also a luxury, I suppose, to only need support in order to achieve the extras in life- and to have the tools necessary to meet basic and not-so-basic needs without having to ask for help from others.
